Deja VoooDoooo
by Rach Raff
Summary: When the Scoobs learn of the 'Deja Vue' demon some secrets are revealed...


"Oh this isn't good," Giles removes his glasses to clean them again.

"What is it Giles?" Willow asks, leaning over his shoulder.

"Oh nothing, just have a scratch on my glasses."

Giles smiles, tensely and puts his glasses back on his head.

"Hey Willow...Giles."

"Hey Buff!" Willow says emphatically. Giles is silent.

Buffy's face drops when she sees him. Giles notices the tenseness in her reaction to him and clears his throat. "Yes, well, I must be off." Giles quickly picks up the book he had been skimming and his briefcase and turns to leave. Buffy grabs his arm as he goes.

"We need to talk."

Giles looks her in the eyes. "Yes we do, later."

He pulls his arm away abruptly and leaves.

"It's always later," Buffy says with a sad sigh. Giles hears her as he walks away and closes his eyes while letting out a soft breath. If only she knew how difficult it was for him to tell her.

"All not well in Watcher land?" Willow asks concerned.

"Willow, you know the Watcher/Slayer relationship is very close right?"

Willow nods.

"Well, I know that there is something wrong and I sense that it has to do with me but I can't figure out what it is."

Willow shrugs. "Talk to him about it. I'm sure it's nothing. Besides, we _are_ coming up on the anniversary of Miss Calendar's death."

Buffy sighs, "Yeah I guess." Even though she knows it's something much deeper.

---------------------------------

**AWARDED TO RUPERT GILES, WATCHER EXTRAORDINAIRE, FOR GALLANTRY ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY.**

_G-d that almost sounds funny now. I let Buffy down by allowing Willow to perform the insane spell that had brought her back from Heaven. What kind of a watcher allows his slayer to suffer?_

"Watcher," he scoffs and takes another sip of his tea.

"Did you say something?"

Giles turns in his chair to see Anya look up from her dusting.

"No, just looking at some old memories," he smiles and then shoves the plaque back into his cabinet. He removes his glasses from his head and wipes them on his shirt.

"That's the third time you've done that in five minutes. Even for you that's bad. They can't be THAT dirty!"

Giles chuckles. "They are scratched. For some reason I feel this helps." As he places them back on his face the tearstains on his shirt begin to dry.

Just then the telephone rings and Giles goes to answer it. Anya runs over to Xander, who had been sleeping...er...um...tagging artifacts.

"Xander, XANDER WAKE UP!"

Xander's eyes flutter open.

"I'm um-almost finished."

"Riiight." She glares at him for a minute eliciting a shy, innocent smile from Xander. "Anyway, what's up with Giles? He's acting very strange."

"Maybe he's still pissed at us for bringing Buffy back."

"Somehow I think this is different. Like he's really...sad."

"Don't know sweetie, but he's always acting strange. He's British!"

Anya smiles at the joke and kisses him. Soon all thoughts of Giles are lost on each other's lips.

---------------------------------

Buffy sits alone on her porch. She gazes up at the moon and dreams of heaven. The place she will never see again. A cigarette falls at her feet.

"Hello Spike," she says absentmindedly.

"Hello Buffy."

Buffy recognizes the voice, the comforting voice that had been there for her through so much, the voice that she knew could help her through anything. Startled she pushes the swing back against the wall.

"Giles!"

"Don't act so surprised. I do smoke occasionally and-"

_Oh no. He's trying to make jokes, put him out of his misery quickly!_

"No, I just wasn't expecting you. Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Giles glances at his watch. "Buffy, it's only 10. You know I stay up until 10:30."

He smiles and climbs the steps up to the porch. He sits down on the swing next to her glancing at the mark on the shingles. Silence.

"I'll go first," he clenches his hands together, "Buffy, I'm leaving Sunnydale indefinitely."

"What?"

"I have to."

"No you can't. I mean I can't do this-"

"Without me? Regrettably I know you think that way."

"I need you."

"Sometimes I feel it's a bit too much. As if you rely on me to take care of everything. I know I said I'd always be there for you and I will but-"

"Liar."

"What?"

"You're a damn liar! You're going to desert me just the way my FATHER did!"

"Buffy I-"

She gets up, crying and throws herself inside, slamming the door behind her.

"I love you."

Realizing he is sitting by himself he says, "Well that went well."

He looks at the floor as tears fill his eyes and he must once again wipe his glasses. He turns to knock on her door but decides against it. He walks off into the night.

---------BUZZ-----------

Buffy sits up straight in bed, knocking her alarm clock to the ground. She clears her head and realizes it had all been a dream.

"That was really, REALLY weird, but oddly Emmy caliber." She laughs at her own joke and rolls out of bed. As the water runs over her in the shower the words roll over in her head.

"I'm leaving...", "I love you?"

What was that? Buffy pushes it out of her mind and concentrates on other things.

Emergency Scooby Meeting, 9 o'clock, read the note on Buffy's door.

"Thanks Willow," Buffy thinks to herself.

---------------------------------

Giles smacks the snooze alarm on his clock and rolls over. Trying to put together the pieces of an already fading jigsaw puzzle.

---------------------------------

Giles softly coughs. It had been so long since he had one of these. He stares at the cigarette glowing gently in his hand and tosses it onto Buffy's porch. She looks so helpless and scared. The news he is about to deliver didn't help any, he was sure, but it has to be said.

"Hello Spike."

Spike? He prays that she had not yet made the same mistake as with Angel.

"Hello Buffy."

The immediate emotion across Buffy's face takes him by surprise.

She jumps, slamming the swing into the wall of the house.

Was that sorrow on her face? Was she upset that it was him?

He tries to play it off as a joke.

"Don't act so surprised. I do smoke occasionally and-"

"No, I just wasn't expecting you. Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Giles glances at his watch. "Buffy, it's only 10. You know I stay up until 10:30."

She smiles. The last smile he would see on her face, he thought to himself. He climbs the steps toward her and sits down on the swing next to her. Cold Silence.

"I'll go first," he pauses as if searching for answers in his now clenched hands. He shakes them as if to get the courage to go on. "Buffy, I'm leaving Sunnydale indefinitely."

"What?!"

"I have to."

"But Giles I-I-"

"You can't do this without me?"

"No I-I-,"

"You need me to play the father?"

"I-I-,"

"I can't stay forever Buffy. The council would have serious problems with that. They'd say I'm getting to close to my slayer."

"I love you."

"What becomes of it then? I get banished, again, from anything remotely watcher related and end up-,"

"I Love You!"

"-Pining for a job the rest of my life. Neither one of us wants to see this end, but eventually it must, well-"

"I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!"

"-It was nice having this chat with you. Goodnight, Buffy."

He turns to leave.

Buffy reaches her hand up to touch his shoulder but thinks better of it. He walks down the steps and back into the dark. She picks up his cigarette and carries it into the house.

_Had she really said love? Buffy? What? _He shakes his head and goes into the bathroom. He tries to scrub his dream away. However the dream had already faded into the back of his mind.

------------------

Anya and Xander enter the Magic Box, holding hands. Buffy already sits, drinking a cup of coffee. She looks dazed, tired and confused. Her mind, obviously, on other things. Giles casts his gaze over at Buffy and worry takes over him. _I'm just going to hurt her again, _he thinks to himself.

Willow follows soon after.

"Tara's going to be late. She's sick. Had some sort of weird dream about us."

Xander pipes up,

"Yeah I had this dream that Anya and I were married. I shutter at the thought."

Anya glares at him.

"Um-in anticipation (nervous laughter) darling."

Anya turns and ignores him.

"Sweetie? Snuckums???"

Giles rolls his eyes.

"Scooby meeting come to order?"

Dawn smiles at him but Buffy doesn't move. Giles is fairly alarmed at her lack of enthusiasm. Then his mind begins to wander. _What if she had a strange dream as well. Why is Dawn still smiling at me?_

Tara enters, pale faced, and sits down beside Willow.

"Good of you to join us," Giles says preoccupied. He is already thinking about books to peruse.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know we were on a time schedule," Tara glares at him. He is startled by this sudden outburst.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out harsh. It's just that-"

"He's anal about time. You should know that." Xander slaps Giles on the back.

Giles looks flustered and adjusts his glasses, "As always artfully put Xander." Xander smiles boastfully and sits.

"What I was going to say is that my mind is on other things right now."

"Yeah, but he won't talk to me about them," Buffy mumbles.

"Is there a reason for the animosity?" Giles is starting to get annoyed.

"Can we PLEASE get back to the reason I called this meeting?" Willow interferes. Giles and Buffy stare each other down but are silent.

"Thank you. I know that I have had some pretty strange dreams in the past but nothing compares to the one I had last night. When I woke up this morning I told Tara about it and it turns out that we both had the same dream, just the characters were switched. Tara died in mine and-"

"Yeah, I had one that Anya ran off with Giles and I was left with nothing." Anya looks shocked. "First of all, ewwww.

Giles looks hurt. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing personal." As he looks away she shakes her head to get rid of the image, "Anyway, I had the same dream but you ran off with Buffy."

"Me?!" Buffy looks curious. "Hmmm. I had a really weird dream too."

_Oh G-d here it comes._

"Yeah I had a dream that Spike was normal and that I was the vampire. So he killed me."

Giles realizes he had been holding his breath. _What? Hmmm. Maybe their dreams weren't related. _The way that Buffy told the story made him doubt that this was the dream she had actually had. He humors her.

"In my dream I tried to bring Tara back by doing a spell and-" Willow chimes in.

The group moans. "Well we certainly know how that turns out now don't we," Buffy grumbles.

Giles, who had begun to occupy himself with scouring books, looks up.

"Hey I think I deserve a little credit. If it hadn't been for me, you'd still be six feet under."

Giles fights back the rage boiling in him suddenly. He grips the book hard and tells himself that she doesn't know what she had done. The rage continues to grow.

"We are all very glad that Buffy is back but the fact remains that what you did was monumentally stupid. You could've brought back so many demons with her or unleashed hell on earth or-"

"Save it Giles. We already went through all of this. Remember? You. Me. In the kitchen. (Acts like she's thinking) Rank amateur ring any bells? I know what I did was wrong but the fact is-."

Buffy explodes, "The fact is I was ripped out of heaven by my friends. (turns to Giles) My best friend left me and then came back only to cut himself off from me. It doesn't matter whether or not it was right to bring me back or who's to blame for the immense sadness I feel all the time. (begins to cry) I just want to get through this meeting, figure out what all these dreams mean and get on with my miserable existence."

All stare at her. Giles shuts his eyes tight to keep the tears from flowing. He comes back downstairs, book in hand. His knuckles white as he hands the book to Buffy. Dawn looks at him, lovingly.

"Are you alright Dawn?" Giles asks.

"I am now that you're here." Dawn smiles.

"That's very...creepy." Giles says as he turns back to Buffy.

Buffy reads intently. The Scoobies are still taken back by what she had said.

"Hey Buff. Um-I don't know if this is the time but we only did what we thought was the best for you."

Buffy smiles, "I know Xander. I just have some things on my chest right now and-" Willow gets up and jets out the door. Tara follows.

"Willow wait!"

Xander, Anya and Dawn follow out as well.

"Apparently the meeting has been adjourned," Giles says removing his glasses.

Buffy gets up to leave but Giles pushes her back down in the chair. "These dreams are related!"

Buffy looks angrily at him but then concedes to looking at the book.

"Xiluxtrew-The dream demon-originated 250 years ago in ancient China. He caused people to lose their minds because he would make them have dreams of things to come. Then when they experienced Deja Vu they would slowly go mad. They eventually couldn't tell the difference between their dreams and reality."

"But why now?"

Giles flips the page and points. "He attacks on groups of people who are experiencing extreme stress or tension within their unit. A recent tragedy or argument can lead to the dream demon.

"How do we stop him?" Buffy looks concerned.

It's more so for Willow than the random chatter that Giles now fills her ear with. She glances toward the door anxiously.

"We must-Buffy are you listening to me?" He watches his slayer's worried face.

"Um-yes-I'm down with it-er-um-what are we talking about?"

"Go. We'll discuss this later (under his breath) if we're not all mad by then."

"Thanks Giles." She gets up and runs out the door.

"Sure. No problem." He gazes down at the book and begins to study.

-------------------------------------------------

"Hey Giles," Dawn says entering the Magic Box.

Giles looks up from the books.

"Hi Dawn."

"You're leaving aren't you?"

"What?!"

"You're leaving. I had a dream that you did. That's why I'm so glad to see you're still here."

Giles sits down on the table and chews on the tip of his glasses.

"I'm not-well-not yet."

"But you are?"

"I-I don't think so. I think you're dream was just a random thing."

Giles smiles, seemingly honest. His heart is breaking. He quickly tries to change the subject.

"I know how we can defeat the demon."

Dawn takes the bait.

"How?"

"Well it says here that the dream demon can only be summoned while one is asleep so therefore one of us would have to go to sleep and-"

"Defeat him in a dream?"

"Yes, precisely." Giles looks back down at the book. "According to this it must be someone afraid to fight even though he-," Giles looks at Dawn, "-or she tries to pretend that they aren't."

Buffy enters and sees the two staring intently at the book.

----------------------------------------

"Hey Giles," Dawn says entering the Magic Box.

Giles jumps. He had fallen asleep in the quiet of the store. He looks up from the books. "Hi Dawn."

"You're leaving aren't you?"

_Oh G-d...how does-wait?_

"What?!"

"You're leaving. I had a dream that you did. That's why I'm so glad to see you're still here."

Giles sits down on the table and chews on the tip of his glasses. _Didn't I just have a dream about this? Why can't I be sure?_

"I'm not-well-not yet."

Giles almost grabs his mouth in an attempt to keep the words from coming out of his mouth. _I swear I've experienced this same conversation before._

"But you are?"

Giles is now thoroughly confused. _I know I just had a dream about this but I can't remember anything except that I want to distract Dawn from this line of questioning._

"I-I don't think so. I think you're dream was just a random thing."

Giles smiles, seemingly honest. His heart is breaking. He quickly tries to change the subject.

"I know how we can defeat the demon."

_Dawn takes the bait. _This is really strange.

"How?"

"Well it says here that the dream demon can only be summoned while one is asleep so therefore one of us would have to go to sleep and-"

"Defeat him in a dream?"

"Yes, precisely." Giles looks back down at the book. "According to this it must be someone afraid to fight even though he-," Giles looks at Dawn, "-or she tries to pretend that they aren't."

_Buffy should be entering now..._

Buffy enters and sees the two staring intently at the book.

"What are you two-," _Is this my replacement? My own sister? Giles will only leave her too! Wait that was my dream or was it? Why can't I remember?_ "So I'm not here for 10 minutes and you start showing her the inner workings of the demon?"

Buffy seems really upset but Giles can't read her the way he usually can.

"No actually it was about" glancing at his watch "4 HOURS ago and I wanted to show you this but you left, remember?"

"Oh right," Buffy says sadly, obviously giving in to whatever Giles has to say.

Giles gazes sympathetically at his slayer. Quietly he begins to speak. "As I was explaining to your sister the dream demon can only be defeated by summoning him while dreaming. The only one who can do this is someone whose biggest fear is to fight. Someone who tries to pretend that they are strong but are truly meek and feeble."

"Who do we know that-," the realization crosses over Dawn's face.

"Xander," they all say at once.

Giles tries to figure out what has just occurred but alas it is useless. The dream has already faded out.

--------------------------------------

"No, no. Uh uh!" Xander sits in a chair, arms folded.

"Come on Xander. PLLEEAASSEE???" Willow pleads.

"I think that dream demon has already made you go mad if you think that I would EVER battle Freddy Krueger."

"This guy is slightly uglier than Robert Englund I'm afraid," Giles says passively as he shows Xander the picture. Buffy and Anya glare at him. "Oh right. So sorry." It's clear by his vacant expression that he's not.

"Honestly sometimes I wonder why they ever allowed you in the Watcher's Council."

Giles' eyes narrow. He mumbles something about wanting to be a grocer.

"Why can't Giles do it?" Xander asks.

Giles stands behind him, his head between the pages of an old book, mocking him.

"He's British. Aren't they known for being meek?"

"I'll have you know that I have fought many demons in my day," Giles pipes in, offended.

"What the ones known as dust mites that fester in old books???" Xander turns around in his chair to face him.

"No, remember? Ripper?"

Buffy interrupts. "Xander, Giles is the Watcher. What would I do if he were to die?"

Giles opens his mouth to protest but thinks better of it.

"You wouldn't care if I died? Besides he's not your watcher anymore-alright well he is-bad point, but he just hides out in this dirty old store and figures out what monsters WE have to fight!"

"We? Xander? You run and hide like a three year old when danger comes within 3 feet of you."

"Oh yeah, well Giles hid in the morgue, now didn't he? Let's get to the truth here Buff-you care more about G-man then you do about your friends. Maybe it has to do with what happened or maybe you just like the idea of sleeping with an older guy but that's the reason it's gotta be me and not him isn't it? You're in love with GILES!"

Buffy's face turns red. Giles removes his glasses to stare at Xander.

"I asked you not to bring that up again didn't I? You want to know the truth? The truth is-"

---------------------------

"Oh Christ. One more of these and I will go mad."

Buffy rubs her head and rolls off of the couch. Recently Buffy had been doing a lot more daydreaming than normal and would often faze out for chunks of time. She had fallen asleep after talking to Willow. She now looks at her watch.

"Oh shit. Giles, Xander, the Magic Box."

She grabs her leather jacket and runs out the door.

----------------------------------------------------------

"No, no. Uh uh!" Xander sits in a chair, arms folded.

"Come on Xander. PLLEEAASSEE???" Willow pleads.

"I think that dream demon has already made you go mad if you think that I would EVER battle Freddy Krueger."

"This guy is slightly uglier than Robert Englund I'm afraid," Giles says passively as he shows Xander the picture. Buffy and Anya glare at him. "Oh right. So sorry." It's clear by his vacant expression that he's not.

"Honestly sometimes I wonder why they ever allowed you in the Watcher's Council."

Giles' eyes narrow. He mumbles something about wanting to be a grocer.

"Why can't Giles do it?" Xander asks.

Giles stands behind him, his head between the pages of an old book, mocking him.

"He's British. Aren't they known for being meek?"

"I'll have you know that I have fought many demons in my day," Giles pipes in, offended.

"What the ones known as dust mites that fester in old books???" Xander turns around in his chair to face him.

"No, remember? Ripper?"

Buffy interrupts. _What is going on here?, she thinks to herself._ "Xander, Giles is the Watcher. What would I do if he were to die?"

Giles opens his mouth to protest but thinks better of it.

"You wouldn't care if I died? Besides he's not your watcher anymore-alright well he is-bad point, but he just hides out in this dirty old store and figures out what monsters WE have to fight!"

"We? Xander? You run and hide like a three year old when danger comes within 3 feet of you."

"Oh yeah well Giles hid in the morgue, now didn't he? Let's get to the truth here Buff-you care more about G-man then you do about your friends. Maybe it has to do with what happened or maybe you just like the idea of sleeping with an older guy but that's the reason it's gotta be me and not him isn't it? You're in love with GILES!"

Buffy's face turns red. _What?_ _Gross!_

Giles removes his glasses to stare at Xander.

"I asked you not to bring that up again didn't I? You want to know the truth? The truth is-well Xander the truth is-um-don't you want to show how strong and protective you can be?" She bats her eyes at him. Giles smiles proudly. _Good show Buffy._

"Don't do that to me Buffster- you that you-I mean I-oh but I-" Xander looks like he's near tears. "I'm too young to die!" He begins to weep openly causing Giles to roll his eyes. Anya is momentarily jealous and enraged by this last moment.

"Don't be such a wimp Xander."

"That's easy for you to say. You're a thousand year old demon!"

"What does that have to do with YOUR slaying capabilities??? Why does that have to be brought into every situation? Wait a minute. This is how my dream started. We got in a huge fight. Buffy flirted with you and then-"

Xander and Buffy glance at each other. He looks back at Anya. He rolls his hand in an effort to get her to move it along.

"I don't know. I can't remember."

"Yes well that's part of it really. Giles sits down on the table next to Xander. I'm afraid this demon has the ability to make people forget. That's part of his power. We will eventually forget what's a dream and what's reality. Then we will slowly go mad."

Xander gets a sudden burst of courage.

"How much time we got?"

"How much time do we have, you mean?"

"Look G-man. I'm not one for small talk. It's straight to the action with me."

Everyone gets a good chuckle out of this as just a few moments before he was a sobbing fool. Giles smiles.

"Again with the colorful illustration," he says rubbing his eye. He looks at Buffy who acknowledges his gratitude. "I'll get you ready. Tomorrow night is the night."

Xander giggles nervously.

--------------------------------------------

Buffy sits alone on her porch gazing up at the stars. The feeling of Deja Vue grabs her when suddenly a cigarette is thrown up on the porch. She remembers a fragment of her dream. That was what that was right? Or did she have this alone time before.

"Hey Giles."

"Love, please be sure to warn me before you insult me like that again."

Buffy glances up. Spikes slicks back his hair and steps up on the porch.

"Oh. Sorry, I-um what?-what are you doing here?"

Spike's eyes narrow. Buffy turns red.

"Oh bloody hell. You're in love."

Buffy is caught completely off guard by this accusation and does the only thing she knows how to. She stutters.

"Wha-What? With who?"

"Well it sure ain't me princess! Much as I may wish."

Spike lights another cigarette and Buffy scrunches her eyebrows. He turns back toward her and closes the Zippo, placing it carefully inside his leather jacket.

"Rupert you ninny!"

"What is with everyone today?"

Spike looks at her with confusion.

"Xander said the same thing. NO, I am NOT in love with Giles! I just that-it's well- how do I explain this?"

Spike lowers his head and gazes up at her. "I'm waiting."

"Well I-I had this dream that he came up and-"

"Hello Buffy."

Spike sighs and takes another puff of his cigarette. He can feel the tension in the air and decides not to waste anymore time sitting here.

"Oh bugger this." Spike says and stands up to leave. He passes Giles.

"It's nice to see you too Spike." Spike crushes his cigarette in front of him and walks away without another word. Buffy is speechless.

Giles takes the last drag of his cigarette and tosses it.

"Giles what are you-"

"Don't act so surprised Buffy. I do occasionally smoke and besides I thought I'd stop by. It is only 10. I still have another half hour before bed time.

Buffy and Giles both think to themselves about the dream and how ironic it was that he had just said that.

"Couldn't take anymore training?"

"Oh G-d Buffy. I don't think Xander has even ever picked up a crossbow, let alone shot it. He'll probably be there all night."

Buffy rolls her eyes and it makes Giles laugh…nervously. She offers him a spot on her swing. He gladly takes it and they rock together in silence.

"I'll go first." Giles says gathering his courage. He gets up to lean on the banister and gazes up at the night sky. He clears his throat softly.

"Buffy I'm leaving Sunnydale indefinitely."

Buffy knew these words were coming but it didn't make it any less harder to hear. Her heart fills with lead. _How could he do this to me? Why did I know what he would say before he did?_

"What?" was all she could muster before tears filled her eyes and a huge lump took hold of her throat.

"I have to."

"I can't do this without you."

A lump develops in Giles' throat and tears sting his eyes. He turns away from her.

"I know you feel that way and that is exactly why I must go. You will never learn self-reliance if I stay."

_This is all so familiar, _Giles thinks to himself.

He turns back toward her and sees the tears shining on her face. Tears he caused.

"But I need you to help me figure out who I am."

Giles winces. The pain in his heart grows stronger.

"No, you don't. You know everything you need to."

Buffy is silent. She retreats inside herself, listening to what he has to say. His voice cracks, his lip trembles, but he does not cry.

"Since the moment we met in the library I knew you were extraordinary. You stole my heart with your naïve yet advanced manner. I immediately felt a father's love for you and knew that I would lay down my life to protect you. This was something the Watcher's Council frowned upon and so they took care of it, for awhile. But now I must let you go for you to grow. I must pull myself away before I go further."

Buffy's voice cracks, "Why now?"

"Especially now. All that you need you hold inside you. It's just a matter of finding it. I will always be there for you, just a phone call away."

"Liar." The word was so simple to say. It simply fell out of her mouth. Immediately she wanted to throw it back in.

"What?"

"You're a damn liar."

She takes a step away from him. His heart begins to break.

"Buffy I understand what you must be going through."

She glares at him. The mixed look of pain and anger breaks Giles' heart.

"Do you? How can you possibly know what it's like to die, come back and then die again. I am losing the only person who ever knew the real me. The only one who I could let my guard down too and wouldn't judge me. You are my best friend. How am I supposed to just _LET _you go? Can you consult your books for the answer to that? Please tell me how you can _POSSIBLY _know what I'm going through!"

Giles goes to put a comforting hand on her shoulder but she pulls away.

"Buffy I know this is hard. Believe me. I've thought about this for a very long time and I know that it's time. I have taught you everything you need to know about slaying and your mother, may she rest in peace, taught you everything about becoming a woman. I'm so proud of you, but with each passing day I see you get weaker. You should be standing tall but instead you are leaning on those around you, especially me. I know you're suffering. I know I'm not helping but in the long run I am."

"You are my family! You and Dawn are all I have in this shitty world, but fine if you want to leave and desert me the way my biological father did go right ahead. Every man I've loved in my life has left in a short amount of time but you, you I thought were going to stay forever. I see now that I was misled."

She begins to sob and walks toward the door. As he walks toward her she slams it in his face. She leans against it until she can't hear him anymore and then begins to softly cry. Giles stands on the other side of it remembering fragments of his dream. He hears her crying and his heart begins to ache. _She loves you, you fool. What are you doing? _As if to answer himself he mutters, "the right thing."

"I love you Buffy," he says with a sigh and then steps off of her porch and into the darkness. Buffy reemerges from her house and picks his cigarette butt up.

"I love you too Rupert."

She then wipes the tears from her face and goes back into the house, closing the door softly behind her.

----------------------------------------------

"LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!" Giles yells at Xander.

"Look, this slayer stuff is new to me ok?"

"I understand but this is standard. Now let's try it again."

Giles and Xander continue sparring. Buffy enters, out of breath but still a welcomed sight to both. The look on her face makes Giles heart drop. She doesn't look at him. Only at Xander.

"What is it Buffy?"

"Yeah!" Xander says giving the punching bag a swift kick. It files and hit s Giles knocking his glasses to the ground.

"Oof!"

"Sorry Rupes."

Giles rolls his eyes and takes a step towards Buffy rubbing his forehead. She takes a step back and again addresses Xander.

"Tara. She fell asleep and won't wake up but she keeps screaming. It's like she's having a nightmare."

Xiluxtrew is getting stronger. We have to go now!"

Giles grabs his jacket and follows Buffy.

"Right, well- I'll just stay her and -"

Giles grabs him and pulls him along.

"Never fear. Xander's here!" Xander gulps.

----------------------------------

Xander, Giles and Buffy enter the small dimly lit room and immediately stop in their tracks. Willow is hunched over trying to apply a cold compress on Tara's forehead. Something which proves impossible as Tara continues to struggle. Willow looks up at the new arrivals.

"I've never been so happy to see you guys. We gotta hurry. The more she struggles the weaker she gets. If we wait too long-," Willow's eyes fill with tears and she trails off.

"She won't ever wake up," Dawn adds sadly.

Giles looks concerned and Buffy glances up at him for the first time since they had talked. She sadly turns her attention toward the helpless girl on the bed.

"Xander..."

"Yeah."

"You ready?"

"No?"

Giles glares at him. Obviously this was not the answer he was looking for.

"Yeah?"

Giles rolls his eyes and waves his arm toward Willow's bed. Willow doesn't notice.

"Ya know I always knew one day I'd end up in your bed."

"Lie down Xander." Giles says unamused.

"Right G-man. You're the boss...well not in that way cause I'm so not into that...anymore and-"

"Xander?"

"It's all right you don't have to thank me." He smiles and chuckles petrified.

"Xander...shut up."

"Right." He lies down.

"And don't ever call me that again."

"Okie dokey."

Giles pulls out his pocket watch and waves it in front of Xander. "Oh I definitely see him. Come here you creep."

Giles rolls his eyes. "Xander, stop faking."

"Right."

Xander begins to fall into a deep sleep.

"Rhitsu locus, magic lupusk, zhivago antilly. May the chosen have G-d Speed. Locusk fertile, carnivorous herbivores. Dreams come true and wishes cast. May he rest our dreams at last."

---------------------

The darkness encloses around Xander causing him to walk a bit faster. From here he can hear Tara's screams but isn't sure whether it's his dream or reality.

"Xander can you hear me?" A distant voice echoes, "Xander?"

The all to British voice is welcomed in the darkness.

"I hear ya G-MA-- Giles."

"Focus on my voice Xander. You are my eyes and ears. What do you see?"

"Nothing. It's dark and cold."

-----------------------

Giles leans over closer to the sleeping Xander. Anya comes over to sit beside him.

"He's in the in-between. The place between sleep and consciousness."

Xander's eye lids flutter, but they never open. Giles puts a finger up to the crux of his lips.

"He's dreaming," he says in a hushed voice. Everyone is silent.

"Giles you there?

"I'm here, Xander."

"Ok. There's a really bright light in front of me."

"This may sound a bit cliche but go towards it."

Xander's legs begin to twitch again as if he's trying to walk. Suddenly he bolts up and screams. "What the hell is that????"

Giles is alarmed. "What-what is it that you see?"

Xander begins to bolt from the bed, eyes still closed. Giles grabs him and holds him until the shaking stops.

"I don't know what that was but it didn't have any eyes and a lot of missing or decaying skin."

Giles eyes dart around the room for the book he had brought. Buffy notices his tenseness and the book on the counter. She tosses it at him. He glances at her for a moment but she turns away before he can thank her. Anya gazes worriedly down at her fiance. Giles rests a reassuring hand on hers.

"He'll be fine."

With that he begins to thumb through the book. His mouth silently interprets the words on the page while his finger traces his place. Buffy looks over at him.

_There was always something so comforting about him being lost in concentration for her. Probably because she knew that whatever he was looking up was for her benefit. He had always been her rock and savior in really tough situations and that made the pain of his conviction to leave that much harder to take. _

She places a hand on Tara's forehead and pushes her hair back.

_Just pull through once more for us Giles_, she thinks to herself. He continues to leaf through the book and suddenly his face lifts and he smiles triumphantly.

"Xander, what you have encountered is a guard of the dead. Xiluxtrew must know that you're there and decided to warn you that he knows of your presence."

"Well I showed him."

Giles chuckles to himself and glances at Anya who smiles. "Yes Xander, as always you are well prepared."

----------------------------------------

Xander smiles to himself. His heart races as he shoves the door open into the dimly lit room. He can hear Tara's muffled voice. She lays in the corner of the room. She is tied to a bed guarded by a few of the "guards." Xander forces himself to move forward.

"Giles are you still there?"

A far off echo answers his question.

"I'm here."

Xander describes the room to him and then cautiously walks over to Tara. The guards have to yet acknowledge his presence.

"Xander this is the place, from now on I will be silent. Good luck my boy."

Xander's heart skips a beat. Giles looked at him as if he were his own. Suddenly a tall lanky man comes toward him. He is floating as if in a dream. As he moves toward Xander, he can make out his physical description and turns away. Xiluxtrew is bluish in color and has three eyes. Each a different color. They blink in unison. His nose does not exist. There is a gaping hole where the nose should be but the skin surrounding it contracts and expands with each breath. His mouth houses teeth, which are razor sharp, and his tongue is snakelike. As Xander sizes up his competition he begins to shake. Xiluxtrew's hands are the creepiest part. His fingers are gnarled and the veins bulge out. They throb with every beat of the thing's heart. His clothing is mid-evil and his breath reeks of garlic. Xander wants to run and hide but something holds him still.

"Hello Xander." It says, the words groggling in his throat. "I've-(he glances at the guard who still pay him no attention)-We've been waiting for you." He points at them and snaps his fingers. Now they rise and limp over to Xander.

"Seize him!" Two of them grab Xander's arms but he elbows them in the jaw sending them tumbling backwards. One grabs a scythe from the wall and begins to charge at Xander who is able to duck in time. Unfortunate for the guard coming from behind him, who subsequently lost his head. The beheaded guard falls to the floor with a scream that rivals Tara's and he explodes into dust.

"Cool." Xander says and turns his attention back to the swinging scythe. The guard seems to fall backwards and stumble a bit when the beheaded one explodes. _They are all connected somehow. _Xander uses this moment of confusion to his advantage as he is able to grab the handle of the scythe and struggle for its release. The struggle only lasts a few minutes as Xander has superior strength and the scythe digs deep into the guard's stomach. The guard lets out a surprised squeal and collapses. Blue ooze seeps out from the gaping wound.

"You really need a tic tac or something. Only half the calories." Xander says waving his hand in front of his face. The guard evaporates.

"Damn you mortal. Why won't you just die." Xiluxtrew says and waves his arms. More guards come at him.

"Today's just not my day."

With each passing blow he inflicts the guards become weaker. One jumps on his back but Xander quickly jabs him with the handle end of the scythe. As the guard falls with a weak thud the handle breaks off. The blade falls to the floor.

"Oh shit," Xander says.

Tara suddenly screams, "Xander is that you?"

"It's me sweetheart. Just relax. I'll get you."

Xiluxtrew begins to laugh.

-------------------------------------

Meanwhile the Scoobies sit in anticipation. These are the first words they have heard Tara utter since she was taken prisoner. Giles smiles and glances down at the floor. Buffy notices the pride in his face and smirks herself. Willow is happy that Tara has spoken and she continues to squeeze her hand.

"Soon." Xander says and begins to grunt and moan, as he fends off more guards in his sleep.

----------------------------------------

Xander runs a hand through his sweaty hair and prepares for more battle. One guard rushes him as another grabs him from behind. Using his under practiced skills from Giles he does a back flip. The guards are taken aback by this move and falls on top of him. The broken edge of the handle piercing both of their chests. They both evaporate into the darkness of the room. The other guards seem to freeze in motion at this point and even begin to back away.

"Get him you fools!" Still they retreat.

"Fine, I'll end this myself!" He casts his arms out to their full extent and the guards disappears. Tara continues to cry out for Xander and his heart weeps at the noise. It is then that Xander realizes that Xiluxtrew has pushed him into a corner. Behind him aligning the walls are many medieval weapons not the least of which is the crossbow that Giles had tried to train him on.

"This one's for you my man." Xander says and tears it off of the wall. Xiluxtrew laughs menacingly.

"Do you think that can take care of me boy? I eat cowards like you for breakfast. You are nothing but a whining, useless LOSER."

"Thanks for the pep talk DAD!" Xander yells back in his face, hoping to mask the fear festering inside. He lunges at Xiluxtrew and fires the crossbow. Xiluxtrew has time to move out of the way, the arrow whizzing into the darkness and embedding itself into the wall. The second is reflected by Xiluxtrew's now drawn sword and shoots off toward Tara. It finds its mark in her bed and she cries out.

------------------------------------

Suddenly a tear develops in the sheet by Tara's hand and she cries out in fright. Buffy glares over at Giles who is obviously locked in concentration. _Focus Xander, FOCUS! _He murmurs to himself, paying no heed to Buffy's stares.

--------------------------------------------

Xander tries to focus all of his energy and fear onto Xiluxtrew. He aims at the beast and fires again. He turns, not wanting to know where his shot had landed but when he hears the squeal he knew that it had found its mark. Xiluxtrew screamed and pulled it out of his stomach.

"Now you will die."

"I don't think so, but you will!" Xander rushes at Xiluxtrew who slides out of the way causing the boy to tumble into the wall. As Xiluxtrew comes after him he picks up the blade of the scythe and flings it at Xander like a boomerang. The scythe buries into the wall just grazing Xander's shoulder. His shirt is torn and he is bleeding a little bit but shows no sign of giving up.

-----------------

Anya sees the tear and the blood and reaches out to wake him up. She is stopped by Giles who shakes his head in sympathy.

"You mustn't awaken him yet." Something in Giles' eyes causes her to believe that what he said was true and so she backs off. Giles begins to apply pressure to the wound.

------------------------

Suddenly a firm hand seems to be placed on Xander's shoulder and the bleeding all but stops. He smiles.

"Thanks Giles," he mumbles. Then Xiluxtrew is on him again and the two continue their struggle for Tara's freedom.

"You know what, first you have your fun and grunt you play a few pranks, then you start messing with people's Groan dreams, and then you Grumble steal one of my friends and play around with the rest of my friend's lives. To top it all off you come off all big and bad but you're nothing. Just some crappy magician with a few more tricks up his sleeve...and if that weren't enough, you RIPPED my SHIRT! So, Mr. Xiluxtrew I pained grunt do believe it's your time to die."

Xander shoves the crossbow as far as he can into Xiluxtrew's chest. Due to the fact that he has been backed into the wall this proves extremely difficult. It's his last arrow so one false move and the fight will be over. Xiluxtrew will have a chance to pull the blade out of the wall. Xander has never been one for fighting, but when it came to his friends he would die for them. He shut his eyes tight and a small tear rolled down his cheek. He fires.

-----------------------------------------------

Giles sits perplexed at what had occurred. Xander, groaning and grunting, had squeezed his already shut eyes and allowed a tear to roll down his face. Then he motioned with his pointer finger as if he had shot something. Then there was nothing. Not an expression on Xander's face, Tara has fallen silent, and the whole group huddles around with bated breath to find out what had happened.

Then Tara wakes up.

She blinks a few times, her eyes adjusting to the room and immediately finds Willow's eyes.

"Hi," she says groggily. Willow is ecstatic, having no idea about Xander's situation. "Guys she's awake. He did it!!!" Her jovial expression changes quickly as she realizes that Anya and Giles have turned a ghastly shade of pale.

"Giles??? Anya??? BUFFY????"

Buffy turns to her and shrugs her shoulders. She doesn't know what to think either. Giles turns his face away and glances at his watch. The furrow in his brow always meant something terrible and Buffy can read it immediately.

"Giles," her voice begins to shake. "Is he ok???"

Giles looks up at her and motions that he doesn't know. No response has still come from Xander's body.

-------------------------------

Darkness surrounds Xander and he can hardly breathe. He opens his eyes to adjust to ...well nothing.

"Giles? Anya? Where am I?" His voice echoes inside his head. "I can't breathe guys. It's really-"

He has to stop to catch his breath. It is then that he realizes that he is in some sort of chamber. He can feel Tara run past him in the dark and tug at his hands, but he can't move. He is pinned by the very crossbow that had saved him. Xiluxtrew's body is over top of him and he shoves him off. The light in the room begins to flicker and spurt out. The walls become wavy. Just like in a dream. Then Xander is running, through some sort of forest following Tara to a door. Tara looks at him and smiles then opens the door and vanishes. he tries to think logically to no avail. He opens the door and falls. He falls into the light. The bright light makes him blind momentarily but then he can hear them.

"Giles," her voice begins to shake. "Is he ok???"

"Buffy, I'm here," he screams but no one hears him. Then he lands with a thud on Willow's bed and his brain shuts off.

"Where-I'm here! Here!" Xander yells startling the Scoobies. Anya grabs him and hugs him while Giles breathes a sigh of relief. He glances at his watch. _Xander had been dead for 2 minutes, and yet has no damage to his brain...well..no more than usual. _Giles pushes the thought away and smiles. Xander grabs his arm, forcing him to turn.

"Giles?"

"Yes Xander."

"How'd I do?"

"You did remarkably well," Giles says removing his glasses.

Xander smiles triumphantly.

"For an amateur," Giles looks up from cleaning. He smiles.

Xander smiles from ear to ear and Giles pats his hand.

"Couldn't have done it without you Ripper." He winks at Giles whose look of consternation is immediately replaced with a half grin.

"SO how's Tara?" Xander asks, sitting up slowly, wincing at the pain in his abdomen and shoulder. "Nice patch work there Giles. Bet they don't teach you that at Watcher School."

Before Giles can respond Xander is up and embracing Anya. Tara is soon to follow. They all thank him and Giles begins to walk toward the door, removing his glasses again. Buffy notices him walking away and begins to follow but is sidetracked by the group hug that she is enveloped in.

"Good-bye, Giles," she mutters and then enjoys the moment with her friends.

---------------------------------------------

"Where's Buffy?" Willow asks.

Giles closes his final suitcase and places it by the door.

"I don't think she's coming," Dawn hands him an envelope Buffy had entrusted her with.

On the front it read simply Giles. He opens it and begins to read:

Dearest Giles,

You were the one who stood by me,

My rock, my king, my friend.

You were the one I'd run to

I never thought it'd end.

You were my stalwart,

My love, my life

You were the one who lifted me

Out of pain and strife.

You were the one who left me

Deserted me this way.

When I needed you most

You said you simply could not stay.

I don't blame you for this void.

I don't blame you for this pain.

I only blame you for the memories

Only blame you for love in vain.

I know you think you're right,

By leaving me alone.

But you left me with this hurt,

Far worse than ever known

Don't ask me to understand

Or condone your actions now

But maybe one day I will

Someday, somehow

For all the times we spent together,

The laughter and the tears.

The times you held me close,

And pushed away my fears.

For the times we've lied and cheated

To our heartfelt talks at night.

For the time I asked you to lie to me

And make everything seem alright.

For the times we witnessed terror,

Discovered horror had a face,

For the times when all I needed

Was a warm embrace.

For all this I must say thank you

And bid you adieu

But Giles please understand,

I can't say Good-bye to you.

My love forever,

Buffy 

Tears fill his eyes as he folds the letter up and places it back in the envelope. He gently slides the letter into the front pocket of his sports jacket and pats his chest. Her words etching into his heart.

"No she's not."

He sniffs softly and glances at his watch. Wiping the tears from his eyes he looks at all the people standing before him. He realizes they have never seen him cry and his face turns a little red. No judgment of any kind crosses over their faces and he knows that these are the only people that he has ever been able to let his "Stiff Upper Lip" fall to. All of them are special in their own way, all of them he is proud of. Suddenly Anya wraps her arms around his neck tight, almost choking him. He laughs at the sudden outburst of emotion and hugs her for a moment.

"The Magic Box is in good hands," she says and smiles. He smiles back at her.

"Of course it is."

Dawn steps forward into Giles torso and he wraps his arms around her.

"I am always a phone call away. Don't forget that, or let your sister either."

She smiles up at him and he kisses her forehead.

"She loves you, ya know."

"I know."

"I don't think you do." Dawn gives him a shy smile and lets him go. Giles' knows what she means and is warmed with the feeling that it might be true. Xander grabs Giles in a not so manly hug and Giles returns the gesture.

"Take Care Xander, you might just be watcher material after all."

Xander gets a proud grin on his face and he struts over to Anya. His face falls again when he realizes that Giles had meant instead of him. He wipes away the tears developing in his eyes.

Giles looks at Willow for a moment and nods. No words needed. The shrill sound of the taxi horn breaks up the small gathering. They are all shocked by the shortness of the time that had seemed to pass. Giles picks up the suitcase lying by his foot and walks out the door followed by Xander and Tara, who bring the rest of his luggage. When he is all packed he comes back in for one final look around, the majority of his stuff having already been shipped to London, the rooms are bare. He reaches for his last suitcase and Willow grabs his hand. He looks up at her and puts the suitcase down.

"Willow I-"

She grabs a hold of him so hard his breathing is labored but he holds her just as close. "Giles, wherever Buffy is I'm sure it goes without saying that we both love you and will miss you a great deal. The four of us have been through a lot together and I-I just-" She begins to sob into his chest and he holds her close, rocking her.

"I love you too.

He looks around at the others.

"All of you. I'm so proud of what you've become."

He pulls away and holds her gaze with his own. "I will see you again...soon."

She smiles sadly as does he. Without another word he picks up his suitcase and heads out the door, stopping momentarily to take in the last breaths of Sunnydale air that he will ever know. Then he throws his suitcase in the back of the taxi and rides off. As he presses his hand against the cold glass in a final gesture, Giles feels the lump welling in his throat and he turns away so the group won't see a grown man cry.

The gang waves to him and head inside to lock everything up.

"The end of an era, eh?" Xander says idly closing windows.

"Yeah, I just wish Buffy were here to say good-bye," Willow says sadly picking up a picture off of the floor. "Giles, must've dropped this," she says.

They all glance down at the picture and smile. It is a picture of all of them the day the Magic Box opened. Willow, Xander, Dawn, Tara, Anya, Buffy, and Giles all captured in a moment of time with joyful smiles on their faces. There was something more in the Watcher's smile. Pride. Willow turns the picture over and tears fill her eyes. _**"I thought I would look back at the tears and laugh. But, I never thought I would look back at the laughter and cry.-John F. Kennedy"**_

Willow's tear filled eyes catch Tara's and for a moment all of them are silent. Then Willow hands the picture to Dawn and silently walks out of the apartment. Each one follows her out. Xander is last and as he turns off the light he looks around.

"We'll miss you Giles."

Slowly he closes the door behind him.

--------------------------

Buffy sits in a tree a few feet away from Giles' apartment. She witnessed the display of affection and wept silently that she wasn't involved. _"Why should I be? He's leaving me," _she thinks to herself.Buffy had decided that this is the best way to end it and move on, but was there life after Giles??? Can she survive without her watcher? These were questions he had left for her to answer. She takes a last glance at the house and slowly walks away, as a few memories play over and over again in her head.

-------------------------------------

_Buffy: Cool! But, okay, (gives back the books) first of all, I'm a Vampire Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know! Why don't you kill 'em?_

_Giles: I-I'm a Watcher, I-I haven't the skill..._

_Buffy: Oh, come on, stake through the heart, a little sunlight... It's like falling off a log._

_Giles: A, a Slayer slays, a Watcher..._

_Buffy: ...watches?_

_Giles: Yes. No! (sets down books) He, he trains her, he, he, he prepares her..._

_Buffy: Prepares me for what? For getting kicked out of school? For losing all of my friends? For having to spend all of my time fighting for my life and never getting to tell anyone because I might endanger them? Go ahead! Prepare me. _

She remembers how hard she had been on him the first few times she had seen him. So willing to deny her destiny. Soon she would realize that the Slayer never has a "normal" life. Her life is her watcher and her nightly patrols. That is what she needs and it's the one thing she can't have..."My watcher," she sighs.

_"I won't remind you that the fate of the world often lies with the Slayer. What would be the point? Nor shall I remind you that you've jeopardized the lives of all that you hold dear by harboring a known murderer. But sadly, I must remind you that Angel tortured me... for hours... for pleasure. You should have told me he was alive. You didn't. You have no respect for me, or the job I perform."_

The anger and the pain in his eyes still seared her heart. She had acted like she didn't need him anymore but now, now when she needed him most he was gone, possibly never to return.

_"You can't leave me. I can't do this alone."_

This last one hits her especially hard. She absently wipes the tear away with the back of her hand and as she walks away into the night, she glances up at the sky. "G-d how I hope I can."

Finis


End file.
